For much of his adult life, Stephen Qualkinbush squelched his desire for adventure and hid behind a veil of secrecy.

He didn’t dare ride a motorcycle or go white-water rafting for fear he might have a seizure. He worried that if his colleagues found out he had epilepsy, he wouldn’t move ahead in his career.

Qualkinbush is now seizure-free, thanks to a device implanted under the skin of his chest. The device, a vagus-nerve stimulator, or VNS, sends electrical signals through a wire connected to the vagus nerve, a nerve deep within the brain. The device, similar to a pacemaker, sends electrical signals that control the electrical bursts within the brain that cause seizures.

Costs for the VNS device, which was approved for treating epilepsy in 1996, and the surgery to implant it run about $20,000, said Dr. Christine Dean, a neurologist who specializes in treating epilepsy. The cost is covered by insurance.

Qualkinbush, 60, got the device in 2001. Now, he tools around town on a motorcycle or in a sports car. He has been bungee jumping and white-water rafting. He wants to go hang-gliding before he turns 61.

“From my personal point of view, I’m making up lost time,” he said. “I want to do them, even if it’s just once. I’ve got my whole life back.”

Qualkinbush has a twin brother whose epilepsy was diagnosed in his early 20s. Qualkinbush didn’t get the diagnosis until he was in his mid-30s.

“I knew I had something,” he said. He would have partial seizures, times when one hand would shake or he would stare into space. He would have blackouts and come to with no recollection of what had happened or how much time had passed. He usually felt an “aura,” a weird sensation resulting from a brief electrical discharge in the brain, that warned him he was about to have a seizure. The auras allowed him to conceal his condition during his working life.

“I was always able to keep it kind of hidden,” he said. “The worst part was keeping it a secret.”

When he felt a seizure coming on, he would get away from people. Once, he walked outside a building and had a grand mal seizure, a seizure that causes convulsions and loss of consciousness. When he came to, he didn’t know who he was, and he had to look in his wallet to find out.

He had his first major seizure with his former wife and her child in a restaurant. He felt the seizure coming on, so he went into the restroom and put his head down. He awakened face down on the floor, with his upper teeth driven through his lower lip and his glasses smashed.

Another time, he was driving with his family when he felt the aura. He managed to pull the car over to the side of the road, and his family held him down to keep him from banging into the steering wheel.

He describes having a seizure as “the weirdest, scariest feeling. It’s almost like you are dying.”

Once his epilepsy had been diagnosed, he started taking the drug Dilantin, an anti-seizure medication. The drug mostly controlled his seizures, but he has had complete success with the VNS device. The device sends a signal to his brain every 65 seconds. Occasionally, when he is thinking about the device or when he is turned so that the wire lies close to his vocal cords, he feels it firing. Otherwise, he pays it little attention.

If he gets an aura, he can double the power of the electrical surges in the VNS by passing a magnet over it. The stronger electrical impulse staves off the seizure.

Qualkinbush retired from R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. at 55, shortly after he had his VNS device implanted.

“Not because of the epilepsy,” he said. “I had worked so hard. I wanted to do all the things I hadn’t been able to do.”

He also spends time working on epilepsy awareness.

“There’s still a mystique,” he said. “Things have improved, but there is still not enough awareness. There are so many people out there that hide it. In rural areas, they still think they’re not supposed to talk about it.” He said that historically, people called seizures “fits,” and some thought that people who had them were insane or possessed by demons.

Famous people who had epilepsy include Vincent van Gogh, Julius Caesar and Napoleon, according to the Epilepsy Museum’s Web site.

Many people panic when they see someone have a seizure. Try to place a pillow or a folded jacket under the person’s head, then stand back and let the seizure run its course. It’s OK to make sure the person’s airway is clear, but don’t put something in the person’s mouth, Qualkinbush said. “They can choke or lock on it.”

Having his own epilepsy under control has raised his self-esteem, he said, and it has given him the chance to be the person he dreamed of being.

“I didn’t want to become a nothing.”

■ Janice Gaston can be reached at 727-7364 or at jgaston@wsjournal.com.

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Epilepsy awareness

November is Epilepsy Awareness Month.

NC EASE (Epilepsy Awareness, Support and Education) and the Epilepsy Institute of North Carolina will hold the first Epilepsy Awareness Day from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday at the Epilepsy Institute, 1311 Westbrook Plaza Drive.

The day will include presentations and information on epilepsy and seizure disorders, first-aid instructions for seizures, tests for epilepsy, new treatments for seizures, clinical trials for new epilepsy treatments, college scholarships for people with epilepsy and their family members, and epilepsy support dogs.

Activities for children will also be available.

For more information on the day, e-mail coordinator@epilepsysupportnc.org.